Remember the boy I shared with you all before this, Daniel Fong? He seems to get better and better these days.
After the public speaking competition, we don't have much contact, though I enter his class 6 hours a week. He likes to wave at me whenever he sees me from far, sometimes I even notice that he came with something unuttered (you know through his eyes, he wants to say something) but eventually left without saying anything. As usual, I never say anything more than I should if the person whom thinks he needs something from me has not say a thing. Perhaps the time has yet to come. And for most people, we try to somehow avoid anything involves pain and discomfort. Thus, I choose not to ask anything or even to ask why, for me, "why" is the most difficult question in the universe, and very often left unanswered.
Our last conversation was about why suicide shouldn't be a taboo. We shared the same thought, I guess that's what connects us somehow (if you believe in the kind of relationship that connects you with another person without have to say a lot... ) so we identify, or more precisely recognise each other by eye contacts 😂 If you get what I mean.
His form teacher, whom is my partner in disciplinary board in f6 came to me last week, said that he shows some positivity now as compared to the last time. I notice that too. But she said he still couldn't trust her to share more that he should 😅😂
I like this kid, not because we shared the same sentiment thought on suicide but because he remains kind even after what he been through. Like I always say, I like kind people, they have this one amazing attraction that I couldn't resist. When all girls go for handsome men like oppa etc I still stick to the same principle I have since young - kindness last longer than good looks, no? (Well, I have a very different definition about being handsome anyway... so that save a lot of screams I would have as any other normal girls would have when they get to see one 😂)
There were a few occasions I bumped into him patiently teaching those who are weak in certain subjects. He shares his knowledge without looking down on others. He is open to discuss in a lot of matters without being stereotyped towards anyone. Most importantly, he respects feminines, which is for me is rare to see these days. I think all men should practice being a gentleman, just like all women should respect herself as a femine.
He says kind words which comfort those who didn't do well in their studies or presentations. He is polite and humble, I would say, even he is sort of broken inside. It's easy to see that in him. I like him, because he reads. I always believe those who read think differently, they learnt a genuine set of skills to get themselves to be more civilised, to be more humane, to feel and learn better on how to deal with life, to have the ability to see beyond what others couldn't get to see. I like those who read, I salute those who know more but still stay humble and low, signifies that one's realisation that he isn't the center of the world and there are a lot more possibilities in life than to lock oneself up in his own world. This avoid one from being selfish, aggressive and even extreme, but to hold more moderation in life, which I perceive as something God would favour us to possess in life.
Puan Zainab, his form teacher told me about his thought on not having a family in the future due to what he suffered in his family. That sounds way too familiar to me... This thought lasts somehow almost enternally if one has not by any chances come to a turning point in life which might help to twist it around. He said if he would later have a family, he hopes his kids wouldn't need to go through what he went through in his family.
No one is sure if he could ever change things around in his family, likewise no one is sure if he would inherit the same abusive gene like his parents in the future... But I believe the thought to make things right, the determination are essential to at least help one to dive towards a different direction, to at least get one out of where they get stuck with in life. It's always about having the right thought and attitude to direct our actions, no?
I wish I could say more to him but I just didn't. Sometimes I feel reluctant to say more as I am not so good in words. My sentences are mostly short and straight to the point. I prefer, to buy someone an ice-cream and sit together for a movie or a see sighting of night or sea view. I always wish to have someone to do that for me too, sadly in real life, you don't always get what you want, not many would stop to look at you, everyone is just way too busy with their life. Those who stop to look at you are true loves, no?
Words in most situations are overused in expressing the real emotions and feelings we have inside. Small gestures like patting on the shoulders, a quick hug, simple sentences like "Hiya, you look marvellous today!", "I understand...", "Allow me to help you with this one. " without having to say the real problem would bring an amazing healing to a broken soul.
# God answered my prayers last week. I eventually had the opportunity to talk to this one sis, who is most probably at the lowest ebb in her life. I prayed for a chance to get in touch with her, in a way I could tell her that I care and God loves her, regardless what had happened or what may happen. We talked, not regarding what actually happened, but more to how she feels and what's her plan, her faith in God. She is in her silent period in God in learning to be more humble, that's how she concludes about herself.
# Faith is all about believing the lowest ebb in life is a turn of a tide.
# I wish to stop writing for some time if I could. Trying to find something else I would love doing as much as I love writing, to balance the racing thoughts and mind I have 😂😂 My mind is ever racing all the time if any of you could get what I mean, so I need to do a lot of things to direct it to a more helpful way than to a self-destruction 😅😂 I'm a sinner who needs a lot of grace from Him continously flowing like a stream of living water...
# I wish I could share with Daniel gospel one day, even though I know it is dangerous to do so. His mighty love is too wasted not to share with others, don't you think so too?
# Hiya, let's swim together sometimes or we shall go for the spiciest 麻辣香锅 sometimes? 😂💞
